Mindfulness, Wisdom and Kindness
By Tania Alexander, Clinical Psychologist
Mindfulness, Wisdom & Kindness
The basic human problems of meaninglessness, anxiety, despair, suffering and death were with us in all times. Each era and culture developed their own attempts to grapple with them. Today psychology and other human sciences are playing a major role. The discovery of neuroplasticity in the late 20th century supplied a scientific foundation for the centuries old practices for a deliberate cultivation of human qualities of peace and happiness.
We now know that the connection between the brain and consciousness is a two way street. Consciousness is produced by brain, and the activities of consciousness are forming new connections in the brain and therefore changing it. As neuroscientists say, “the neurons that fire together, wire together”. It appears that many contemplative traditions knew about it for a long time from their own practice, the practice of mindfulness. This practice allows one to become mindfully aware of ones own thoughts, feelings, mental habits and patterns. Seeing them clearly leads to the capacity to make choices in our reactions to the world and to our internal experiences… Easier said than done.
The life of humans is not easy; it is uncertain and forever changing. As a result of life events we often start doubting ourselves, seeing ourselves as flawed, lacking, not measuring up. When it happens it is hard to be with oneself. We start faking it to others and stop being genuine with ourselves. We feel disconnected, lonely and helpless. In such times the last thing we want to do is look at ourselves. If we do, we feel fearful, or angry, or upset with ourselves. Caution: “The neurons that fire together, wire together”. Negative emotions and self become even more strongly connected.
Mindfulness can help us learn to be genuine with ourselves
How do we develop a new relationship with ourselves, our experiences and our lives? How do we stop being “a fair weather friend” to ourselves? The journey begins with the gradual cultivation of the genuine and unconditional friendship with oneself. Learning to be able to face oneself, our thoughts and feelings and not running away to find courage elsewhere; keeping ourselves open to our experiences in all circumstances; fostering trust in ourselves, in our capacities and wisdom. Mindfulness practice is the major tool in it.
Our ability to be genuinely open with ourselves is a measure of our openness to the world and others, our capacity for empathy and intimacy. It opens the opportunity for participation in life as it is, right where you are in a creative, fluid and playful way. Then life becomes a good teacher and a good friend.
For more information on Mindfulness
Talkingminds has a range of practitioners experienced in mindfulness therapy. Visit our website or contact us to discuss making an appointment.